# Adventures

A Lesson on “The Man”

Lesson on the man - TheEngineersKids Image courtesy of pakorn at FreeDigitalPhotosdotnet

The kids and I had a goal last summer to have more “adventure days” when we go explore some new part of Orange County that we had never been to before. We found a park called the Coastkeeper Natural Play Garden where the kids ran around, slid in the dirt, and climbed trees (only in Orange County do you have to have a dedicated park to run around on tree stumps and rocks), and had a ton of fun and they learned about drought tolerant plants!

The next week we checked our “50 Free Things for Kids to do in Orange County” article from the local newspaper, and decided to check out the Secret Noguchi Sculptural Garden. The article went on about how you should take unimaginative kids there, so they can play and be impressed with the sculptures, etc., etc.

Let me make a quick aside to mention that the kids were watching School of Rock a few days before.

We found ourselves driving around a business area of Costa Mesa trying to find this cool secret garden, but it was raining…drizzling really, but it wasn’t stopping, so we opted to go to Ikea for a bit. After Ikea the rain had stopped, so we thought since we were in Costa Mesa, we should try to find the secret garden. Finally, I figured out where to park, which was by a favorite cookie store, so we picked up some cookies. At this point I was realizing that our destination was less of a park and more of a courtyard between some office buildings. You know the kind of place where the office employees can take their lunch break and eat and enjoy the sculptures and *cough*pretend*cough, cough* nature.

Still the newspaper article had said it was for kids, and they were excited by the stream and rocks, so I sent them off to explore while I sat and fed Eva and enjoyed a cookie. Not five minutes had passed when a man in a suit came up to me saying, “Ma’am, are those you kids? They aren’t allowed to play on that. Could you tell them to get off?” I should have told him to tell them, instead I yelled, “Hey guys! Come here!” across his pristine courtyard. I told the kids about not climbing on anything and they were up. in. arms. Choruses of “it’s not fair” and “why are there so many rules” and “I’m going to poke him in the eye” rang out. And Jules said, “The people who make all the rules, that’s called ‘the man’.”

I almost died laughing. She said she had learned it from School of Rock. Then the kids all explained about how “the man” means there are too many rules and not enough fun and how it’s all just mean. Inside I was cracking up; outside I was sympathetic to their frustrations. After we all enjoyed some cookies, I walked them around the rest of the garden telling them not to climb on anything. The sat down on the edge of the rock river you see above.

Next, Agent Smith from The Matrix came up behind me. Honestly, he even had glasses and the white thing in his ear. He said (in that tone where people are using kind words, but really they don’t mean them at all), “Um, unfortunately, they can’t put their feet in the water. Unfortunately. Sorry. They can’t. It’s a liability issue.” The kids didn’t actually have their feet in the water, but nothing was fun about that place, so we were leaving anyway.

As part of some schoolwork we were doing that summer, I was trying to get Finn to write a few sentences about what we do on “adventure day,” and the girls to draw a picture and give it a title or write one sentence. They hadn’t been too enthusiastic about it, but Finn immediately said he was going to write all about how mean the security was and how they shouldn’t have so many rules. I told them I could send their letter to the security people of those office buildings, and they went off  thinking up ideas to include in their letter. Finn even busted out a paper and pen while we were still in the car. He wrote,

“Security, you have no choice. You have to put me in charge and I will say that there are no rules, and that the only rule is that there is no security and the security guys just have to stand there and do nothing.”

(I would include the misspellings, but I don’t have the original in front of me.) Jules said she would write about how it is not nice to make kids not do things they want to do, and Malena said they should be allowed to do whatever they want at a park, and Leto said “Yeah” and “that so mean” a bunch of times.

I thought the whole thing was just so, so funny, and goodness it was such an amazingly well-taught life lesson. I called Scott as soon as we got home and I was just in tears laughing retelling the whole story.

Jules: “that’s called ‘the man’” So. hilarious. The kids were so awesome in their rebelliousness and they were so motivated to write and take action.

So, don’t go searching out the Secret Noguchi Sculptural Garden (at least not with kids), and here’s to sticking it to the man!

Update: Isamu Noguchi is mentioned in this article about the politics of playgrounds, noting his visionary playground designs that allowed children to really interact and use imagination. Also, this article (also linked above) mentions a similar experience to mine, but points out that the sculpture garden is an abstract representation of the state of California.

 

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Letting Kids Make Financial Mistakes - TheEngineersKids
# Family Life

Letting Kids Make Financial Mistakes

Last week, I posted about our trip to the Pacific Marine Mammal Center, during the trip we purchased three stuffed seals named Shiny, Arrt-Arrt, and Sealy from the gift shop. Up until this trip the kids had been amassing a large stash of birthday and Christmas money. I don’t really like shopping with the kids, so they have to really beg for me to take them to spend their money. Previous to said trip to see the seals, I made them list a few things they were thinking of buying, which did not include stuffed seals.

They all insisted on buying a stuffed seal, even after I reminded them of the cowgirls dress-up clothes and rollerblades they had on their shopping lists at home. And I try really hard not to dictate what they purchase with their money, so I said, “Hey, it’s your money,” and off we went with three over-priced seals. I should have known not to go to a gift shop…lesson learned.

A good conversation and lesson arose from the experience though. The kids seemed to be convinced that you should be able to return an item to a store at any time for a full refund. Otherwise, the store was stealing your money, because you no longer wanted the item, so you shouldn’t be obligated to pay for it. Sometimes it surprises me how they think the world works.

After a thousand “why” questions about how stores do in fact have to make a profit, buyers are giving up rights to return an item when they use it, and that stores will accept some returns if they can sell that item to a new customer, they began to understand shopping a bit more. I don’t think I persuaded them to believe in the philosophy of return policies, but I did convince them that no store was going to take back their dirty old toys five years down the road.

At least one child is already regretting her hasty seal purchase. I told her we would review her finances and come up with a plan for her to earn the money she needs to get her cowgirl dress-up clothes.

I love a lesson learned young. Better to regret buying a stuffed seal, than a fancy sports car or too-big house. For many years now, my husband has benefitted financially from a My Pal 2 he regretted buying in the 80s.

What financial lessons are you glad your kids learned while young? What did you buy as a kid that taught you a lesson?

Letter E for Easter & The Number 12 - TheEngineersKids.com
# Preschool

Preschool Lesson – Letter E for Easter and The Number 12

Over the years we have saved a lot of money by organizing co-op preschools with our friends. With a group of 5-8 kids, you can have a lot of fun and they love learning together. Bigger groups can lead to feeling crowded in a home (and can get loud). Smaller groups don’t seem to generate enough chaos to make it something the kids look forward to.

I want to share some of the lessons I’ve done with co-op preschool groups in the past.  They usually were based on one letter and one number that we studied that day. Note, most of these lessons were taught in my home, which has never been larger than a three-bedroom townhouse, so you need a little space, but not an auditorium for a living room. Without further ado, I give you:

The Letter E for Easter and The Number 12

  • 10 minutes, Welcome in the living room
  • 30 minutes, Easter Egg Hunt
    • hunt for eggs
    • open eggs to find the letter E (capital and lowercase)
    • show picture from Animalia book – talk about eggs and elephants
    • practice writing the letter E (capital and lowercase)
  • 30 minutes, Snack and Story – apples, Horton Hatches the Egg
  • 30 minutes, Craft
    • Craft: talk about a dozen eggs, count to 12, practice saying “dozen”
    • color Paper Mache Eggs with markers, and put stickers on them
    • Color: Horton Hatches the Egg picture
  • 20 minutes, Easter Movie